Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Hats I Have Known

Today I was thinking about all the hats I have made, loved, and lost, and I decided to do a tribute post to those poor, vanished hats.

Why are hats so easily lost? It's a serious question. I have made countless hats over the years, and I will confidently say that approximately 50% of those hats have been misplaced, by me or by others. No, it's not fair to say "misplaced". Those hats have been taken. Taken by the universe for reasons unknown. They were with us, then they weren't. They were on our heads, they were in our hands, they were in our bags, they were in our pockets, they were in our closets, and then they were gone. Forever. They slipped through some hole in the fabric of space-time to join their lonely, lost brethren, endlessly wandering the dimension of Lost Hats, each hat fondly remembering the head it used to keep warm once upon a time, and knowing that the two would never be united again in this life.

Someone should talk to science about this phenomenon.

Personally, I have made for myself ABOUT a dozen hats. I can't remember them all. They were with me for a short while, and then they vanished-- in the best case scenario, into sundry, unknown Lost & Found boxes, from which they may have been plucked to begin a new life atop someone else's head. More likely they were run over in the street until they barely resembled hats, but I prefer not to think of that.

I record the memories of a few hats lost in time:

The pink and the white. I went through a phase in my sophomore year of college when I made plain stockinette hats for EVERYBODY out of this super bulky acrylic yarn I bought in Walmart that was really soft, really warm, really cheap, and came in neon colors. I made one for almost everyone in my circle of friends. For myself, I made a pink and white striped hat with, of course, an enormous pom-pom on the top. I wore that for a few months.
Last known sighting: Unknown.



The rainbow. I discovered Red Heart Super Soft yarn in my junior year and bought it in literally every color. I made tons of stuff with it, and I still really like it. It's exactly what it is advertised to be, very affordable and the colors are great. Plus, it's machine-washable. I spent hours and hours and hours experimenting with it. I remember that time fondly as a period of knitting madness. Hats, bags, sweaters, sweater vests, skirts, everything that could be knit, I did knit it. And I decided to use every single color I had to make a cool hat.
Last known sighting: Unknown.



Entrelac.1. Ah, this was a sad story. I made this hat before I left for Israel after my senior year. I think I finished it literally the day before I flew. It was not the first entrelac hat I had made, but it was the first I made for myself. I got a ton of use out of it. And, strictly speaking, I didn't LOSE it, it was destroyed, but at any rate, I had it and now I don't. When I got home from Israel it sat somewhere in a drawer or a closet for a while and the next time I looked at it I found bugs had eaten little holes in it, and then died in it, so I had to put it down.
Last known sighting: My house, sometime in 2010. Confirmed dead.



Entrelac.2. This is a story of triumph, actually. I made this hat to replace Entrelac.1, slightly altered with a ribbed brim, and I wore it for a winter. Then I moved to Israel, and when I asked my mom to send it to me there, she couldn't find it. So it was considered lost for many months. Except when I went back to visit in the summer, I found it in my coat pocket. However, weirdly, it was like, super duper small and I don't know how it EVER fit me. It certainly doesn't fit me now. It doesn't even cover my ears.
Last known sighting: Somewhere under my bed, 2013.



The Slouch. The mystery of this hat's disappearance remains unsolved to this day. I made it before I made aliyah, and I wore it quite a bit. It's an adorable casual silk slouch which was pretty big so I had to keep it on with bobby pins, but it was super cute and perfect for the strange weather here. It was in my house, and then it wasn't. IT DID NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE. It was last seen in  my living room, atop a friend's head. She admired it, so suspicions remain that she has secretly made away with it. However, she is a pretty upstanding citizen, so this hypothesis is a bit weak. Anyway, the last sighting was months and months ago, and it has not been seen since, despite exhaustive searches, a thorough spring cleaning, and knowledge that it did not exit my apartment. This actually drives me crazy. Of course, the possibility exists that it WILL be recovered, but this is starting to seem less and less likely as time goes on. This is the most frustrating type of hat disappearance.
Last known sighting: My apartment, November 2012.



Entrelac.3. I had this hat for about two months before it was lost. I used a ball of Noro Silk Garden to make a hat and it came out VERY cool because of the color changes. It was extremely itchy and the cast-on was too tight so it wasn't so comfortable, but I got a lot of compliments on it, and was even stopped in the street once in a while. I liked it a lot. I know exactly where I lost it: the central bus station in Jerusalem, mid-January. I was going to pick my sister up from the airport. I went in and I had it. I took it off at some point. When I left it was gone. I DID go back and search the lost and found, which had many, many, many hats, but mine just wasn't there.
Last known sighting: Central Bus Station, Jerusalem, January 2012.



Entrelac.4. The latest and most pathetic loss. I had this hat for MAYBE a week before I lost it, if not less. Michelle, who, by the way, lost the hat I made her for last Hanukkah, requested a hat of the same type as my Entrelac.3 and got two balls of Noro delivered so I could make us a matching pair. I wore mine for a few days. I think I lost it while I was walking somewhere in my neighborhood. I retraced my steps, but no luck. To be honest I wasn't so sad about this one because the hat didn't come out quite as I wanted, but it was still a bummer. Especially since I JUST made it.
Last known sighting: Katamon, January 2013.




This list, of course, doesn't include the many hats I've made for other people which are now lost. I do blame those people, but I acknowledge the desire of hats to be free, and I realize that we can't always control what our hats do or where they go.


Rest in peace, hats.